16
Nov

New Movie Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Benny’s Video(1992) – 8/10. Another extremely disturbing and haunting picture from Michael Haneke. He really knows how to make the audience feel isolated and terrified.

Dead-Alive(1992) – 10/10. Before Peter Jackson decided to make over stuffed “epic” films, he made a few awesome gore films. Widely considered the goriest movie ever made, this one does not disappoint.

The Eye(2002) – 10/10. Let me make it clear that this is the original Japanese version and not that piece of shit that starred Jessica Alba. With that said, this is one of the only films that has physically affected me. There are so many terrifying scenes.

Battle Royale II(2003) – 4/10. Such a disappointment after the pure brilliance of the first film. There is too much cheese and way too much action. A little more storyline would have been nice.

The Men Who Stare at Goats(2009) – 2/10. A boring, moronic mess that is a complete wannabe of a Coen Brothers films. Don’t see it, don’t even rent it.

Wide Awake(1998) – 10/10. A forgotten masterpiece from M. Night Shyamalan that I urge you all to see. I hadn’t seen it before this week but I was pleasantly surprised.

2012(2009) – 1/10. Even worse than a Michael Bay film, yes, it is possible. While it boasts being about the biggest disaster ever, the film in itself is a disaster. The dialogue is awful, the CGI is annoying and it never gives the audience a break from its unecessary drama.

Night of the Creeps(1986) – 8/10. A very fun horror comedy. The atmosphere is great and the characters are awesome. By the way, Tom Atkins rocks!

Battle Royale(2000) – 10/10. Probably my all time favorite Japanese film. It’s disturbing, heartfelt and in your face. If you haven’t seen it, I dare you to do just that.

Donnie Darko(2001) – 5/10. While it is dark and sinister, I don’t see how this little film is anything more than a wannabe David Lynch picture. I guess it’s David Lynch for scene kids. Either way, I don’t think it deserves its cult status.

4
Nov

New Movie Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Disney’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow(1949) – 10/10. A little treat for Halloween time. This is such a great animated musical and it’s sadly forgotten by most.

Evil Dead II(1987) – 10/10. The Follow up to The Evil Dead is a much more absurd and silly film but it’s so much fun. It’s either just as good or better than The Evil Dead.

Army of Darkness(1992) – 9/10. The third and final chapter of the Evil Dead series is easily the funniest and most ridiculous but surprisingly, this doesn’t effect the film being amazing. Sam Raimi is the best at horror/comedy as far as I’m concerned.

Pink Flamingos(1972) – 2/10. This film has such a large cult following because it’s overly disturbing and taboo. It’s true that this film will make you want to vomit but it simply is not good filmmaking and the gross out factor can’t cover that up. Bad acting, camera work, writing and directing make this one fall flat.

Maniac Cop(1988) – 7/10. Bruce Campbell is always fantastic and he is in this film as well. This is a fun little 80’s horror film.

Female Trouble(1974) – 2/10. Another lame film from John Waters. How he got famous I will never know.

Martin(1977) – 10/10. One of Romero’s best and a very interesting take on the vampire genre. It will capture you into its bizarre and surreal world and then blow your mind with one of the most shocking endings in cinema history. It’s so sad that it’s been forgotten.

Saw VI(2006) – 6/10. Definitely a vast improvement from the last four films and a good satire on the health insurance industry in this country. However, much of what is featured in this film is too familiar and I’m tired of every film being left open for another.

Something Wicked This Way Comes(1983) – 10/10. My favorite Halloween film and in my opinion, a total masterpiece. You should all see it.

Paranormal Activity(2009)(ORIGINAL ENDING) – 7/10. While it still doesn’t rank as one of my favorites, the original, subtle ending changed my opinion on it quite a bit.

The House of the Devil(2009) – 9/10. A wonderful throwback to the classic horror films of the 70’s and 80’s. This is one of the very few modern films that understands that story should be the foundation for every movie.

Mikey(1992) – 6/10. Before “The Good Son” and way before the awful “Orphan,” Mikey was the ultimate killer kid movie. It shouldn’t be taken seriously but it is a fun, bloody time.

Cigarette Burns(2005) – 8/10. John Carpenter’s best effort in years. It’s gory, scary and bizzare enough to make any die hard horror fan happy.

25
Oct

Weekly Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Let’s Scare Jessica to Death(1971) – 8/10. A very bizarre, moody and creepy film that no one seems to remember. If this doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will.

Bad Ronald(1974) – 8/10. This film is so long forgotten that it has never even been released on DVD but I still highly recommend it if you can find the VHS or a download. It is a very original premise and creepy as hell.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead(2009) – 2/10. I thought Wrong Turn 2 was bad, which it was, but it comes no where near the misery that this film will bring you. Bad acting, worse writing and amateur camera work leave this movie for dead.

Law Abiding Citizen(2009) – 6/10. It always bothers me when critics get upset because a movie is illogical. It’s art, the beauty is that it doesn’t have to be logical! With that said, this film was fun but I really hated Jamie Foxx’s character and the ending killed the rest of the story.

The Evil Dead(1981) – 10/10. Sam Raimi may be my favorite director. Everything about this film is perfect to me. It’s creepy, original, and very well done

Where the Wild Things Are(2009) – 4/10. There are impressive effects through out this film but it was a book that should have been left alone and not translated into film. The problem is that the whole sense of fun has been taken out of the picture. It’s overly dramatic and I don’t understand how any child will want to watch this one over and over. Screw you, Spike Jonze!

Wrong Turn(2003) – 7/10. By no means the best horror film of recent years but inbred rednecks and loads of gore is never a bad thing.

18
Oct

Weekly Movie Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Trick ‘r Treat(2008) – 9/10. A new Halloween tradition for me will be to watch this movie. It is an extremely well done little horror flick and it’s a real shame that it was a straight to video release. This deserved a good run in theaters!

Deadbeat at Dawn(1988) – 8/10. A very well done and effective revenge story with plenty of blood and guts to make any gore hound happy.

Let the Right One In(2008) – 10/10. What a vampire love story should be – scary, gory and heartfelt. This is the film the Twilight was trying to be but miserably failed at. It truly does make Twilight look like a Disney Channel original movie.

Paranormal Activity(2007) – 5/10. Everyone’s been eagerly awaiting a wide release of this film and this week, we got it. While it is impressive for such a low budget, it really is not scary and doesn’t bring anything new to the table. Everything Paranormal Activity did, The Blair Witch Project did better.

Dark Ride(2006) – 3/10. This goes in the cheesy fun category that should never be taken seriously. It’s an awful film that has no scares but you’ll probably find yourself laughing fairly often.

4
Oct

Weekly Ratings

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Halloween II(2009) – 1/10. Even worse than the 2007 remake and I had doubted that that was possible. This is Zombie’s biggest mess to date.

The Final Destination(2009) – 1/10. It’s pretty much a carbon copy of the first three films. Death chases people and they die, the end.

13 Ghosts(1960) – 8/10. A very fun and sometimes creepy little sixties film that has sadly been forgotten from the world because of the awful remake that was put in its place. Yes, it’s cheesy but it entertains just as well as anything. It’s great for the Halloween season coming up!

Midnight Movie(2008) – 6/10. A wonderfully imaginitive and original premise that is unraveled by it’s annoying characters and cliché ending. Watch it with low standards.

The Hills Run Red(2009) – 4/10. After reading the reviews of this film, I was really excited to see a return to classic horror. That’s not what I got with this. While it has its moments and plenty of good gore, it is mostly just a typical teen slasher flick. I also found the premise to be too similar to John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns.

Memorial Valley Massacre(1988) – 2/10. There are two kinds of films in this world: films that should be taken seriously and reviewed as such and films that are great to sit down to and laugh at. This movie falls into the latter category. Everything about it sucks but that’s what makes it so entertaining.

Mother of Tears(2007) – 8/10. Argento is definitely back folks! While it doesn’t quite compare to some of his earlier stuff, this is a great film that returns to the classic 70’s filmmaking style. I don’t understand why so many people hate on this one.

Pieces(1982) – 2/10. Cheesy fun but nothing else.

Zombieland(2009) – 9/10. The best zombie film in years. In my opinion, it’s even better than Shaun of the Dead. There are remnants of the classics such as Dawn of the Dead. You’ll laugh very hard but there are also genuinely terrifying moments.

20
Sep

New Movie Ratings

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

The Good: Live Hard, Sell Hard(2009) – 4/10. It has funny moments, especially the ones with Will Ferrell but the story isn’t interesting and the main character is highly unlikable. Wait till it’s on video, at least.

Adventureland(2009) – 10/10. This might just be the best comedy of the year. When it’s funny, it’s hilarious but it’s also heartfelt and extremely well done. All the performances are great and I hope to see Jesse Eisenberg a lot in the future.

9(2009) – 8/10. A very good sci-fi thriller that has remnants of the greats including The Twilight Zone. The end leaves a little to be desired but this is definitely worth seeing at the cinema.

Jennifer’s Body(2009) – 1/10. I think this has taken the place the of the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Sadly, it’s getting some good reviews because of Diablo Cody’s supposed clever dialog. Nothing about this is clever or original and I saw the end coming from the very beginning. This is not a horror movie, it is a failed comedy. An abortion even.

30
Aug

New Movie Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

The Devil Times Five(1974) – 8/10. A fun piece of 70’s trash about five murderous young children. What could be more entertaining than that?
Woodstock(1970) – 9/10. Woodstock is a very enjoyable documentary that mixes music and interviews almost perfectly.
Taking Woodstock(2009) – 2/10. After seeing the original Woodstock film, I knew this wasn’t gonna be much of anything to look at. My friend took me to see it and it was a mess. The story is extremely shallow, the characters are boring and there is no music from the original festival except in the background. I would have walked out had I not gone with someone who actually enjoyed it.
The Twilight Zone – 10/10. This week, I finished watching every episode of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone. It is the greatest writing in the history of film and better than anything ever produced. Think I’m being a little bold? Then go watch it for yourself and see if we don’t agree!

23
Aug

New Movie Ratings

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

American Movie(1999) – 10/10. A beautiful documentary that shows the trials of an independent filmmaker very well.
Inglourious Basterds(2009) – 9/10. This was a great movie that I think people missed the point of and loved for all the wrong reasons. It’s not about glorifying killing Nazis, it shows that the people obsessed with killing Nazis were just as bad. It’s tragic that we live in such a conservative era.  The only thing that keeps me from giving it a ten is Eli Roth’s miserable performance.
Coven(2000) – 7/10. I really don’t think it gets the credit it deserves considering it was pretty much a no budget film. I had a lot of fun with it.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra(2009) – 2/10. All action, no story. If you liked Transformers, you’ll love this. However, that just means your brain hasn’t matured past that of a third grader.

15
Aug

New Movie Ratings + 4 New Videos

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Funny People(2009) – 4/10. An enormous let down after The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked up. It is Apatow’s most mature film to date but with that maturity comes less laughs and a mess of story and direction. I am almost pissed off that this is considered a comedy. It’s more like a 2 and a half hour long soap opera.

The Running Man(1987) – 8/10. This gets an 8 soley for entertainment value. It is a cheesy 80’s action flick, yes, but Arnold’s ridiculous lines and the sheer absurdity of the story make this a wonderful film.

Village of the Damned(1960) – 10/10. One of the most amazing horror films I’ve seen in quite some time. The story is brilliant and the characters are portrayed perfectly.

Lord of the Flies(1963) – 10/10. The best adaption of the book. It was cast nearly perfectly and it’s a shame that’s it’s almost been forgotten today.

A Perfect Getaway(2009) – 4/10. The first half was entertaining and I thought the film was actually going somewhere. However, once the absurd twist rolled around, it lost most of its credibility. If you really want to see it, I would recommend waiting till it hits the dvd shelves.

Children of the Damned(1964) – 7/10. A pretty good follow up to Village of the Damned but unfortunately, it just doesn’t compare.

Village of the Damned(1995) – 7/10. A decent remake with a lot of flaws that doesn’t come anywhere near the greatness of the original. Even so, I found a lot to like in this little film.

Children of the Corn(1984) – 8/10. I think this movie is sadly underrated. The atmosphere of the corn fields and the overall feel of the film just got to me. Sure, there’s some awful acting but I don’t it’s enough to bog this effective horror flick down.

Taxi Driver(1976) – 10/10. I could watch this movie over and over, which I have, and never come close to getting sick of it. It is the perfect character piece. I’m waiting for Scorsese’s comeback.

District 9(2009) – 10/10. As much as I hate using the words “epic” and “masterpiece,” There really isn’t much else to describe this film. It is easily the best sci-fi film in years and years, probably since the 70’s. It is very well thought out, plotted and has a whole lot of gore. You need to go see it right away.

Cannibal Holocaust(1980) – 9/10. It truly is the most disturbing movie ever made but it’s also extremely well done. The way it is shot and acted makes it all feel real. NOTE: Only watch this film if you’re sure you’re ready.

Lord of the Flies(1990) – 2/10. A truly awful remake from start to finish that doesn’t capture the feel of the book in any way, shape or form. I really hate it when filmmakers try to make a story like this modern and americanized. In this story, you’re supposed to have disdain for the children because they’re such bad kids, but in this movie, you hate them because they’re such awful actors.




2
Aug

New Movie Reviews

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince(2009) – 10/10. The best of the Harry Potter series so far which is saying a lot. Every single movie from this serious has astounded me. This was no exception whatsoever. I can’t urge you to go see this enough!

Nightmares and Dreamscapes(2006)
-Battleground – 10/10. Probably my favorite film involving murderous toys. William Hurt is spectacular.
-Crouch End – 8/10. Creepy, dark and mysterious. A great episode.
-Umney’s Last Case – 8/10. A very interesting idea that is executed very well.
-The End of the Whole Mess – 9/10. Great performances and an extremely frightening premise make this my second favorite episode.
-The Road Virus Heads North – 6/10. It has good acting but the plot seems to fall apart after the first half.
-The Fifth Quarter – 6/10. Another one that didn’t keep my attention too well. I guess there always have to be hit and miss.
-Autopsy Room Four – 7/10. Very creepy and exciting but far too similar to an early episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents.
-You Know They Got a Hell of a Band – 8/10. A creepy story with good acting impressions of rock stars.

Bruno(2009) – 3/10. A sad and failed cash in on Borat. I really enjoyed Borat but this mess comes no where close to it.

Watchmen(2009) – 9/10. I rewatched it and liked it much better the second time. Hopefully Zack Snyder makes good films from now on considering this is his first.

Orphan(2009) – 3/10. It has a few moments that are good and it certainly is suspenseful. However, I found this film to be way too similar to The Good Son in just about every respect. Even the setting, a mountain town in the winter, was exactly the same.